Have you ever found someone that completely MATCHES you, but you can't have them? I've found myself in a position that I didn't think I would ever be in, because I am just not the type of girl to take something that isn't hers, or the type of girl to ruin someone else's happiness just to complete her own..see where I'm going with this?
Now I must say that I have some BALLS to even post something like this. Why? Because it's so easy to be judged. And people reading this can be people that know exactly what's going on...it's a very thin line being crossed. But I need to let it out, and this is the only way I know how.
It is very hard for me these days to find someone that completely matches me. Someone I can literally talk to for hours and there would never be a dull moment. Someone who can totally be my best friend and also more at the same time. Someone who makes me laugh constantly. Someone who's style matches mine. Like what? That's so hard. They say opposites attract..but that doesn't mean that 'similars' don't. And I finally met my match, but he's already met his....a while before he met me >=/ It's not right for me to even continue to feel this way having knowledge that this person is already happy, but it isn't wrong to have feelings because unfortunately God gave us the power to do many things and controlling the way we feel about one another was definitely not one of them. I guess this is me trying to open up and at the same time trying to seek an answer.. how exactly do I overcome this? Through all of this, I have found a great friend. Without losing them..how can I express the way I feel..The last thing on my mind is to risk them losing their happiness in another person in order to satisfy mine...but at the same time, I'm not trying to break up the friendship either. But when you have certain temptations...smh..I can't even explain. I know I told y'all it is very easy for me to get over someone. But this one is a tough one..because I would have to cut myself back from speaking to that person in order for me to easily get over them. But I don't think I have the heart to do that. And a new distraction will only help until I see that person again.
I WISH THERE WAS A WAY FOR ME TO CONTROL THIS SHIT -_-
I also wish there was a stronger and more explainable way for me to write this. It's like I know exactly what to say when I say it in my head..but when I go to say it or write it...all those words vanish. I don't want it to seem like I'm in love or I'm obsessed, because I'm not. I just have weird ass feelings right now that I need to get rid of for the best but they don't want to go away, and I have a feeling they'll continue to grow if I don't stop them. This is one of those "I'm smart but can't seem to find a way not to look dumb" situations -_____-. Somebody pinch me.
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