Monday, August 3, 2015

KBH.

Yung Kay Bri.
Slimm xoxo




















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DaReelLife: Reel Memories


hey guys! so, i haven't been feeling like myself since honestly...like 2013. sometimes i'll feel like me again but only for a short amount of time. it starts to get very depressing after a while, up to the point where not even advice could really help. so, i went through old videos and decided to make a video collage of them. i did it for 1, myself. that way whenever i forget who i am, i have this to look at and remember. and 2, for the people who've either got to see this side of me and haven't in a while, or to those who've never got to know me well enough to know this person. I've spent two years trying to find my happy side again but it never seems to be permanent. maybe it will, soon. but i'm just glad to share this with you guys and also to be able to have something to look at now when i'm at my lowest :-) enjoy! it's onlyyyyy 22 minutes =D lol. A LOT of people are in this VID. so i'm sure y'all will end up watching the whole shit.

xoxo, Rina


Reel Memories from Karina Briany'e on Vimeo.

was feeling down and haven't been feeling myself lately. so i made this mainly for myself, to remind me of who i am

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Humble Thy Mind

the mind is such a dangerous place. it's where overthinking happens. it's where thoughts collide. it's where feelings are sometimes marked as irrelevant. it's where our mentality is both created and destroyed. but all the while, it is powerful. while we're always told to follow our hearts, our mind usually makes the decisions, and that's what gives it its power. and that alone can be very very intimidating. this is why when we feel ourselves overloaded with thoughts, we practically go crazy to a point where we don't even know what the purpose of our existence is. 

but what if we can, not so much change, but control that? we as people often forget that we are the creator of our own minds. God created us, but he did not create who we are, he left that job to us. your mind is the way it is because of the agenda you've built for yourself, as is mine. where am i going with this? it's time we really start learning to control what we have created. hey, if the Lord does this so well, why can't we?

people have written loads of books and have created all sorts of "religions" and techniques to "teach" us how to control our minds. it's all a bunch of bullshit, honestly. the only real way to control your thoughts is giving YOURSELF that power and courage into doing so. i am not saying we can sit here and stop ourselves from automatically overthinking certain situations, because that would be saying that we can control what is natural..and that's false. however, when the time does come and your mind is overanalyzing something that doesn't deserve much thought, the best thing to do is to relax your mind before you demonstrate those analyzations to the world. in other words, don't just "THINK" before you speak. RELAX before you speak. RELAX before you do something. you can't always just 'think' before you speak, because you can think all day today and still say the wrong words when trying to get your point across tomorrow. shit like that does happen and it happens very often. i am a living testimony to that. the key to validating all of your thoughts is always to relax them first. having multiple thoughts pop up in your head at the same time is just like listening to a bunch of crying babies at the same time – horrific and fucking ANNOYING. if you have multiple thoughts going on in your mind at the same time, how will you ever know which thought is actually valid when you open your mouth? you won't.

now what i mean by "valid" is this: i am not trying to sit here and say that what we feel isn't valid. but thinking is not always the same as feeling and i think we can all agree with that at our age. yeah our hearts are just an organ that pumps blood and oxygen. but i truly believe there is a spot in our brain that connects to our true feelings, and that spot is only identified as our heart metaphorically. that spot in our brain causes our hearts to be fast and very slowly depending on how we feel. that spot is the spot is the spot we try our hardest to tune in but get completely blocked by a bazillion other thoughts racing through our minds. that is the place where our truest feelings resort from. now, i am not trying to sound like a philosopher who's lost their damn mind, nor am i trying to sound FAKE educated. i just want to DEEPLY get my point across, and if that means mind fucking you on accident until it happens then so be it lol. 

getting straight to the point , the best way to deal with horrible situations is to first humble your thoughts. i know that sounds weird because when people think humble they think of a person who has it all in life but doesn't show that off. but, while that may be true, let's remember that there is always a deeper meaning to a word than we know. the definition of humble is this:

as an adjective, it means - having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

as a noun, it means - lower (someone) in dignity or importance.


Let's take the noun definition and run with it. "lower someone in dignity or importance". Well when I say to humble your thoughts, that's exactly what I mean, lower them in dignity or importance. Not every thought thats pops up in our mind is of importance or is even relevant, but when we automatically decide to speak on them once they pop up, we speak on them as iF they are of relevance or important, and as if they are more powerful than anyone else's thoughts. get it? basically, we don't always say irrelevant things thinking they aren't important when we say them. we don't always know just how irrelevant our thoughts are until we say them out loud, and think about it again later. and to be quite honest, the only reason we don't catch that is because we never allow ourselves to. this is what i mean about relaxing before saying or doing something when going back and forth with someone, whether it's a simple discussion or a huge argument. you don't want to constantly do or say things you will regret later, and to avoid that you must humble your thoughts. 

how can you "humble" your thoughts, or relax? easy. take deep breaths. if the overthinking occurs because you are arguing or bump heads with someone, well.. always put yourself in the other person's shoes. always! the most important technique to fixing an issue with another person is to put yourself in their position. once you do that, it would be easier to understand why you got into the disagreement in the first place..and that will help you figure out the next step, which is what you need to do or say to rid of any negative feelings and clear up any misunderstandings in the most comfortable way possible. if the overthinking occurs because of a personal situation, then you need to remind yourself of how you got into what's troubling you in the first place. remain positive and remain focused. always seek advice before taking action. the negative thoughts WILL come about without you wanting them to, but it's all about how you handle it. don't allow these thoughts to define the person you are. because the person we truly are comes from the "heart" , aka that random spot in your brain where your feelings come from. 

so many times in my life i wish i could have known that all i had to do was calm the fuck down lol. i have made the worst decisions due to allowing my crazy thoughts to control everything. i have had trouble maintaining my friendships and relationships because of it. however, i don't fully regret it because had i never been lost, i would have never learned. it's okay to mess up and it's okay to not always know how to control your thoughts and actions. but again, always remember that YOU are the creator of your own mind. don't blame someone else for the way you've decided to handle something. because sure other people's actions can really make us go crazy, but when ACTING on those crazy thoughts becomes an issue, it suddenly becomes our fault rather than theirs, and then what?  instead of pointing fingers..humble your mind. think of all the things you could have done differently and always use that power to your advantage for next time. in conclusion, i highly suggest you CALM DOWN PEOPLE. RELAX. THINGS DON'T ALWAYS BE AS SERIOUS AS WE MOLD THEM INTO BEING. do not just THINK before you speak or do something. RELAX YOUR DAMN MINDS...then proceed. Instead of going 0-100 real quick, make 0-100 dollars real quick.

stay true, stay blessed, stay REEL. positive vibes only.

xoxo, Rina 


Tuesday, June 2, 2015

dear future bae,

when it's late at night I want you to know that whether we talk or not, I'm probably awake thinking about you. and most likely smiling because of something you've said or sad because I don't get to share that with you. 

when it's early in the morning I want you to know that I've looked at my phone, wishing your name was there. I've also probably clicked your name, typed something, then erased it out of shyness. 

during the day, I want you to know that even if we haven't spoken, I'm thinking about you. and I'm wishing to just take public transportation and pop up at your door like HELLO! miss you! 

I want you to simply know that I fuck with you. I want to know all your interests. all your fears. I want to know everything.  from your favorite color to your favorite pair of socks. I want to be able to jump on you every time I see you. I want to play video games on rainy nights and cuddle and watch Netflix. I want to go to the courts and bust your ass in ball before you play with your friends and I get to watch you, sneaking a kiss during time outs. I want to be your best friend , your ace , your #1. 

I want you to want me.

so, don't hesitate. say the word and I'm yours ..

Monday, June 1, 2015

When love plays hide and seek..


man oh man. what a Monday I just survived! ughhhhh sksksjshahahsdhl

I have been so confused lately I feel like a dog chasing it's tail in circles. when it comes to love , relationships bla bla.. I don't even know where my mind stands! sometimes I want it, sometimes I don't. I'll take interest in someone and then lose it so quickly because now my guard is completely up and I rarely trust anything with a penis these days tbh. 

however, when I actually show my interest , it feels like I'm literally entertaining a rock. I will never understand how you could do so much to show someone your interested, they'll show it back once and never show that side again .. leaving you feeling clueless and utterly disappointed. I'll laugh some days because of how ridiculously stupid I be feeling even liking these dudes sometimes. and then I'd get all insecure and question what's wrong with me and shit. It's really just the worst. 

I'm not perfect. I've been through a lot and I've had to teach myself a lot of right from wrongs. my communication sucks but I try. I'm emotional. I'm stubborn  (Taurus , hello!) . I'm a spoiled brat at times too lol. however , I love extraa hard.  I give all I can and I put my all into my relationships. if I like someone , I'd do any and everything in my power to let them know "look, you WILL be mine. I'm not playing." lol . but lately that shit been feeling like my downfall. a straight up failure . now I just feel like turning into this tough cookie who you will never get an emotion out of — unless you provide me with a 10 page paper, double spaced, thesis paragraph , MLA format and proper citation, and a perfect conclusion as to how real you are and where you wanna go. I've seen and been through toooooo much to not feel that way! 

crazy thing is I tell myself maybe I'm just not fit for relationships but deep down I know that the next time I get into one , I'm holding it DOWN. I'm not making the same mistakes i did in my previous relationship, and I'm certainly going to look at things differently. honestly I just need to find the right person. someone humble, down to earth and out of the loop. someone who loves my tomboyness and will shoot some hoops with me or play video games with me even when we are mad. someone who recognizes and appreciates all i do. someone who I can talk to for hours and not get bored. someone funny as hell. someone adventurous cause we not about to sit in the house all day every day rubbing against each other and shit. lol. Someone who won't violate me if we disagree with one another. Someone who doesn't have like 70 friends who would all be in our business. someone who won't hesitate to tell me they love me. someone that will learn about all about my flaws and never judge. Yup. *sighs* am I asking for too much lol? don't think I'll ever find this person . 

a girl could only dream ! 

...


Lately my life has definitely not been the brightest, and I don't know what to do. you ever just wake up okay, thanking God for another day.. looking outside and feeling blessed on the inside because you're greatful to be alive ... then something not so great crosses your mind and then all of a sudden, clouds. all you see is clouds. from that moment everything else just depresses you. and it's like no matter how hard you try, you can't escape the funk ... 😔

last weekend, a family member of mine passed away from cancer . we weren't close but it still hurt a lot cause I mean that's family. not too long after finding out about her death (rest in peace Darlene 💐), I found out that my birth father has leukemia. Now, my birth father did not get to raise me or watch me grow up or teach me things because of the lifestyle he choose. however, I will NEVER consider him to be a deadbeat father. He's always tried to be in my life, always. my mother was just not having it because she needed to make sure I was protected. I never really even understood this until now. I won't say I ever hated my father, but I never really felt like forgiving him for not being able to be in my life. he didn't have to be in and out of jail. he didn't have to be involved with the streets. he choose that, therefore I didn't see how him not being in my life wasn't messed up , and I kinda did consider him a dead beat. but getting older and looking deeper into things , I'm glad I can realize that he's not a dead beat, he just forcefully couldn't be there for me. I just hate that I always dodged visiting him , and now he's sick 😔 I don't know how to deal with this kind of stuff. I've lost a sibling when I was younger and I've lost my grandmother. I cried and stuff however I was young so I didn't consistently cry. I am 22 years old now , way more emotional & way more terrified. I don't want to lose my father. he brought me into this world. he's always cared  and always tried. how do I even deal with this ? how do you deal with death?

cried hard when two of my favorite actors passed away (Cory Monteith, Paul Walker) . I cried hard when MJ died. I listened to his songs. I watched their shows/movies to help get all the crying out and mourn. but I didn't personally know them. yet today if I sat down and thought about them hard, I'd start to cry. how the hell am I going to even function if God forbid I lose my father? I don't know how these families even deal with death. I hear a story about cancer patients fighting hard and then passing away and I do cry, cause all I can think to myself is "I don't know what I'd do if I was in that position". my first thought would be maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad because I don't really know him the way a girl should know her father. however, I think it would actually kill me because of the fact I never got a chance to have that relationship with him. 

I used to get calls from him all the time when I was younger. always brightened my days. then the calls stopped and I swear I was sad, but kept that from my mom. grew older and didn't really think about it anymore. now it's all I can think about. he has a whole other family that are able to laugh and share memories together and all I have is - yea I remember my dad used to call me . smh. this really fucked me up and I feel like it's already been effecting me and my life. no one really understands this part of my life so it's not like I can just sit and vent to someone. all I have is this blog and my thoughts right now 😞 i guess I need to get it together and go see my father. I'm just absolutely terrified ...


what would YOU do?

Monday, April 27, 2015

When You Have A Selfie Stick And 62 GB


Enjoy these 51 Selfies & 6 Videos Put Together. Powered By The Selfie Stick. Supported By Jenine, the 62GB iPhone 6. 

 (the selfie stick caught me off guard, LOL)